Midget Jones’ Diary

1. She has the same name as me. This is very important, as I’m a total narcissist. If you don’t believe me, just count the number of times I refer to myself throughout this blog. It’s not pretty. Anyway, it does make it easy to remember.
2. She can swim faster than me.
3. Her favourite All Saint is Melanie, “the one with the horse face.”
4. She accuses me of staring at her roots, which I think is rubbish as I never notice things like that. I’m more concerned that I may focus on people’s eyebrows rather than their eyes. I may need some more practise.
5. She can swim faster than Mr T. riding a dolphin.
6. The roof next to the clock at Slough train station looks like a robotic owl. You may notice that this isn’t really related, but it totally freaked me out just now.

So, in summary, NO I’M NOT BUYING YOU A HAT.